Heavy Heart

My heart is a little heavy tonight after getting a poor prognosis for Mullet, our cat. Mullet is just a week or so away from her 21st birthday, so obviously she's lived quite a long life. She's been in decline for awhile, but she recently stopped eating. The bloodwork indicated full blown renal failure (she'd been on the verge for a couple years now), but the vet said she'd be ok to take her home for the weekend and bring her back on Monday to have her put to sleep. I am so sad about it. Mullet is a torbie - a color pattern not known for a docile nature - but she is actually a very sweet cat. She's not a lap kitty at all, and as such we haven't bonded with her to the degree that we did with Catfish. That said, I will still miss her in a lot of ways.

Of practical concern, we are unsure about what to tell Penny. Tray killed a turkey this morning and we showed it to her and let her touch the feathers and everything. I explained that the turkey was "dead" and in heaven even though his body was still here - and I only did that because she seemed confused about the turkey. That was before the news about Mullet. Penny actually went with me to the vet this afternoon and I had explained that we were taking Mullet to the doctor because she didn't feel good. I don't know what to do on Monday in terms of leaving the house with Mullet. If I explain that Mullet is going back to the doctor, then what do I do when she doesn't come home? She knows Minx, Catfish, and Pa's horse Gunnar are in heaven, but I think it would be confusing to take Mullet to the doctor and then come back saying she was in heaven. Also, do we let her see us bury Mullet in the backyard? I'm going to be googling the situation to see what advice I can glean from the internet on the subject, but right now I'm full of concern about how this is all going to go down.

Pretend Alligators

Sarah asked about the pretend alligators in relation to the last post. The alligator lived in the corner of our living room in Florida. Once we moved he/she/it did not apparently move with us. We had one day of alligators being in the Alabama house involving Tray and me having to convince them to go home to their mommies and daddies (and escorting them out the door). I don't think they've been back. She is however getting to be scared of the dark (I guess?). She now often asks me to either turn the lamp on in the master bedroom or close the door to it because she doesn't want to walk past the dark room to get something out of her room. I say "I guess" because she doesn't have a night light in her room and seems fine to be in there after dark, so it may be a combination of the dark and the fact that it is an area she doesn't spend a lot of time in and is thus a bit foreign to her.

Even though she says they can't talk, she will sometimes bring a stuffed animal to the table to eat with her. She'll give the animal a bite of something (and then pop the bite into her own mouth). Still, though, outside of mealtimes I can ask her if an animal wants a bite of something and she'll say, "no, he doesn't have mouth." I would say she's very selective about pretending, and seems put-off by Tray or I trying to initiate it.

Literal

Penny is so logical and takes everything so literally, we joke that it's like living with mini-Spock. Seriously, we are forever trying to encourage her to do "little kid" things like talk to her stuffed animal or whatnot and she just looks at us and goes, "they can't talk," with this look on her face like, "duh, you guys." Or she'll be drinking my water and I'll get aggravated and say something like, "Penny, your water is over there." And she'll look up and go, "Yeah. I'm drinking yours right now." Yesterday Tray figured out why she'd been having some trouble keeping up with the dances in dance class. They all have stickers they are supposed to stand on so they aren't running around the room. Penny was taking that too literally and thought she couldn't move off her sticker at all. So she was trying to do motions, but watching herself at the same time to make sure she didn't come off her sticker. Tray told her she could dance around so long as she stayed near her sticker. I guess it's good that she follows directions. Lol!

Brief Update

I'm into week four of the Couch to 5K program and am still enjoying it. This week is run 3 minutes, walk, then 5 minutes, walk, and repeat that sequence. So, I ran for 5 minutes. Twice! Pretty cool.

Penny went back to dance class today and seemed to enjoy it. Tray left her there and did some errands nearby and I came into town to meet them afterwards. I got there just as class was ending so I peeked in at her and saw her doing her thing. I was so proud of her and amazed at how comfortable she seemed. She fit right in to the proceedings like no big deal. It's sad to see her growing up, but it also makes me feel full of pride and love for how neat of a little person she is.

Green Grass

Penny has been going back to her dance class on Tuesdays. Two weeks ago she decided she wanted to go back - but only if Tray took her. I think because he'll go back with her to the class and not care what anybody thinks or says about it, and she knows I'll be pressuring her to go by herself. I think that that first time he did go back with her, but this past week he did not - although he did peek in the curtains to watch her. He reported to me that she tried really hard to keep up with the The Green Grass Grew All Around song, but would get lost until they got to the green grass part and then her face would light up and she'd do the green grass motion with everybody. Since Tuesday she's been wanting to sing "green grass" (as she calls it) every night after supper. So we all three go in the living room and sing The Green Grass Grew All Around at the top of our lungs and laugh. And now I can't get that song out of my head!

Blessing

This is a memory recorded because it is something Tray wants to remember forever (and I do to). Last night at supper we said the blessing like normal at the beginning of the meal. For our family this is not a time to ask God for anything, but rather to give thanks for what we already have. As most blessings tend to, ours has become somewhat set, "Thank you for this food. Thank you for each other. Thank you for our families. And thank you for a really nice day. Amen." I also don't believe that you have to wait to eat anything until the blessing is said. That belief borders on superstitious to me. So usually what happens is that I get Penny's plate and her at the table eating while Tray and I might still be finishing prepping our plates. Then once we all sit down she'll usually initiate the blessing. She never wants to say the blessing in terms of her actually being the one to say it. She usually wants me to. So I did like normal. Then about halfway through the meal she says, "I want to say the blessing." We told her we already had. She said, "I want to say it again." Tray asked her if she wanted to say it. She said, "yeah," and closed her eyes. And then nothing. She took the question to mean that she wanted to "say the blessing" as in close her eyes while I said it. Tray said, "no, do you want to say the blessing? Do you want to say something? What do you want to say?" She looked at him and goes, "I love you." It was the sweetest, most genuine thing I have ever heard. I thought Tray was going to cry.

Positives

I had a good run there of posting frequently, but haven't been so good about it recently. We've got some good stuff going on. (Not so good stuff too, around the edges, but I choose to focus on the positives.)

We've been looking at land! We hope to buy something soon. We'll keep our current house to live in for a couple years, but eventually we'll build on the land and live there. Until then it will be a place to go and for Tray to hunt everyday if he likes. It's gonna be great!

I started the Couch to 5k program. I did Week 1 for a week and a half and am repeating Week2 this week, but I feel ready to move on to Week 3 next week for sure. As someone who could not run to the stop sign a few houses down, I am super excited to be whipping my cardiovascular system into shape. I am shooting for running a race in May (you know, once it's good and hot outside - ha!). I totally get why people run now though. I absolutely get the "runner's high" and want to go out everyday even though the program is only 3 days a week so I make myself take days off in between. Every so often I even forget that I am running and just go with it, which is wild given how hard it used to be for me to run. Full disclosure: I ran sprints in high school on the track team, but sprinting is much different than distance running - and high school was many years ago. Still, every fiber of my being says, "run fast," so I have to keep slowing myself down which feels awkward. I'm getting there though.

We have seeds coming up all over the place where we've planted stuff. Tomatoes, eggplants, all manner of herbs. Every tree and shrub in our yard and the adjacent yards is in bloom. Everything feels like it is coming to life and it's just such a great time to be outside 24-7. We all eat lunch outside almost everyday - and sometimes breakfast and supper too, lol!